Friday, July 29, 2005
>A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his>parishioners. All went well till he came to one house. It was obvious>that>someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked>several>times. Finally he took out his card, wrote on the back 'Revelation 3:20'>and>stuck it in the door.>>The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the>collection plate. Below his message was a notation, 'Genesis 3:10.'>Upon>opening his Bible to the passage, his face turned red, and he let out a>roar of>laughter.>>>Revelation 3:20 reads: 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any>man>hear>my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with>him, and>him with me.'>>Genesis 3:10 reads: 'And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and>I>was>afraid, because I was naked.>>---------------------->>A preacher was winding up his temperance sermon with great fervor, "If>I>had>all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river.">>And the congregation cried, "Amen!">>"And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in>the>river.">>And the congregation cried, "Amen!">>"And if I had all the whiskey and demon rum in the world, I'd take it>all>and>throw it in the river.">>And the congregation cried, "Hallelujah!">>The preacher sat down.>>The song leader stood up very tentatively and announced, "For our>closing>song,>let us sing hymn 365, "Shall we gather at the river.">>------------------->>A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because>he>was>short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note>under>the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If>I>don't>park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES.">>When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with>this>note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a>ticket,>I'll>lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."
7/29/2005 07:09:00 PM
